Summer is quickly coming to an end. I feel like I was just at school struggling with my next steps. But here we are, at the end of July. This summer has been great. It’s been full of lots of fun and adventures. It’s been filled with lots of traveling and meeting new friends. I’ve enjoyed this last summer a lot. However, the summer has been full of a lot of hard realities and truths I’ve been learning. One of the biggest truths/realities I’ve learned is that every time I have something that I really look forward to, I end up losing my focus and concentration and most importantly, my contentment.
Being content with where I am at is a huge struggle of mine. As an Enneagram 7, I am constantly looking forward to the next adventure. This summer has proven that is way too true for me. While it is is good to be excited about the upcoming adventures, I am not cherishing the moments here and now as much as I could be. I have often found myself wishing I was going on the World Race sooner. I found myself impatiently waiting for time to place sooner rather than enjoying the here and now with my family and friends. I have not found myself being content this summer. I find something wrong in every part of my life. I am not content with what I have and the people that are around me. And this isn’t necessarily in a materialistic way, but due to my 7-ness, I have found it in my experiences. Throughout the summer, I have found myself thinking “well when this is over I have that in the next few weeks, and then this part of my life is done and I have to find out *fill in the blank*.” Now that may just seem like I am planning out my summer so I know what I have. But at the back of my mind, if I see that there is a lull in my schedule, I find a way to fill it. I think “this schedule is not good enough, I need to be doing more.” I find the need to fill my schedule and essentially make myself busy so I have another adventure to look forward to. At the beginning of July, I had my whole month filled. I found a way to fill my schedule to the very end of the month and take zero time to rest. This leads to another one of the biggest truths/realities I’ve learned: I don’t know how to rest.
I have no idea how to rest. And I am not writing this blog post saying I realized that I don’t know how to rest and then I learned how to rest. I still have no idea how to rest. With me not being content with not having enough experiences and wanting more adventures, I am working through that struggle and working through the urge to put more on my calendar. I am slowly trying to figure out what rest looks like to me. What I have learned, though, is that rest is not just doing nothing. Rest is doing something that gives you life. Rest sometimes looks like spending time with those I love, intentional time with those I love. Rest sometimes looks like going for a walk alone outside and listening to the creation around me. Rest sometimes looks like sitting on my bed with my laptop and binge-watching my newest favorite show. Rest looks like a lot of different things. And I am slowly learning to incorporate these things into my routine. Because without rest, I am eventually going to burn out. I am eventually going to become resentful of the things and people that I fill my time with. And that’s not what I want. I want to enjoy these things.
So as this summer comes to an end, and I enter into these last four months before I leave, I am learning to be content with my schedule, even if it’s not jam-packed and I am learning to take time to rest. I am taking the time to enjoy the moments with my family. Enjoy the moments where I get to be alone. The moments where I have absolutely nothing. Because that’s not always going to be the case. As excited as I am for the World Race and to be leaving in January, I am also excited to see what God does in the here and now.
