Late Friday night I got back from my week-long training camp down in Georgia. It was a long week let me tell you that, but it was a good week. I wish I could go into detail about everything, but this would be a very, very long blog post. (If you’d like to hear about it, shoot me a text and we can get together and I’ll tell you all about it.) But instead of having you read a very long blog post, I want to tell you about the community of people I met and how they impacted my life.
This last week I was able to meet the people I’d be doing life with for the next year. I have to admit, it was terrifying. I didn’t quite feel like I fit in at first. I was one of the newer ones to the group. Everyone else seemed to know one another, even if it was just through small chit-chat on our group message or through previous video chats I hadn’t been able to join. But by the end of the week, these 20+ strangers felt like family to me. I genuinely came to love these people as if I’d known them my whole life. And it’s all because of Jesus. Jesus broke down so many strongholds for every one of us and because of that we were able to be open and trust one another.
One of the strongholds Jesus broke down for me was the stronghold of performing for man. My whole life I have pursued friendships and relationships in hopes of being wanted and loved by them, even if that particular relationship was not healthy for me. I would say or do whatever to impress them and hope that they would accept me. And in all honesty, I didn’t fully realize that about myself until a couple of days into training camp. We arrived on a Friday afternoon and on Sunday evening we were asked what was keeping us from being marked by God. I started to journal and the things I was writing down I knew weren’t my own words/ideas but things in my life that God was bringing to light. I was performing for those around me just so I could be loved and wanted by them. I shared this realization with one of our coaches and he affirmed me that I was loved and I was wanted right where I was as I was. He was the only one I shared that with that night.
I share that last thought because throughout the rest of the week during worship, people came up to me and prayed words over me that spoke to what I had been struggling with, things they wouldn’t have known about me. I was known. I was seen. I was loved. As I journaled about these words, I slowly realized that these words being prayed over me was God telling me that He sees me, that He knows me, that He loves me. His love is so much greater than anyone else’s I could ever try to win over. And as I focused on His love and my relationship with Him, He would bring a community that was focused around Him to love me. And that’s exactly what He’s doing. God has provided me with a community that loves me just as I am. I don’t have to perform around them. I just have to keep loving Jesus and pursuing Him and when I get off track, these people kindly and lovingly guide me back to Him.
If you take anything away from this blog post, I hope that you hear these things: God is good. He provides. He cares about you. He loves you.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog post. I appreciate all of your love and support. Please subscribe to continue to get updates on all that the Lord is doing and teaching me.
Lots of love to you all <3
