I like to think I am a pretty open person. I tell people about my emotions. I tell people about my life. I like to share with people. They just have to ask and I’ll answer. However, over the last couple of months, I’ve slowly begun to realize how many walls I have up. I tell people about my emotions, but only let them in on the good parts. I tell people about my life, but the sad parts I always tell in a jovial manner so I think that I am leading them to believe that everything is fine and dandy. I want people to see me, but I am not really allowing them to see me fully.
It’s really been the last couple of weeks that I have been allowing God to take my walls down. It’s happening slowly, but they’re coming down. I realized that to help be part of the body of Christ, I actually have to own my part. If I want others to be vulnerable, I also have to be vulnerable. I can’t expect others to be open and honest with me if I am not being fully open and honest with them. We were created for community. We are meant to be there for one another in whatever season of life we’re walking through.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
Galatians 6:2 (ESV)
It’s oftentimes embarrassing for me to cry and share the hard feelings that I am feeling. I don’t want to let people in and get hurt. But that’s part of the process. Allowing that to happen means I am allowing myself to be part of the body of Christ. I am fulfilling the law of Christ, bearing the burdens of those around me and inviting them in to bear my burdens.
As I let people in, I have to remember that people aren’t perfect. People are going to let me down. And that is okay. It’s a reminder that I’m not perfect either. I’m going to let others down as well. But we learn and we grow from that. We learn how to love one another better. We learn how to love as Christ loves us. And when others let us down, we get to turn to the best friend we could ever have, the only one who will never let us down: Jesus.
And I know that sounds so cheesy and so cliche, but it’s one of the truest things to ever be. I can come to Him all as I am and know that He will love me even in my mess. Even in my hurt and my anger and my confusion. He loves me and doesn’t want my walls to be up with Him. He provides hope through all of my “negative” emotions. The things I think are sufferings, He turns into hope because of the Holy Spirit He has given through relationship with Him.
“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
Romans 5:3-5 (ESV)
As I realized that my walls are up with other members of the body of Christ, I slowly began to realize that how can I be my full self with Christ if I can’t be that way with those right in front of me. This process of allowing my walls to come down is incredibly humbling. It’s stripping a lot of my pride away. But I am thankful because then I get to be in better communion with not only those around me but the Lord as well. Here’s to all of the stripping of pride and allowing everyone to see me fully. Thank you Jesus for helping these walls crumble away.
